Here are some random reflections on my second to last Tuesday in Paris.

1) The water is turned off in my building. In a very un-Parisian move, they had posted a warning about this a week ago, so I was well aware that it was going to happen. However, it is annoying nonetheless. I am pretty hung-over (and I expect to be acting like a college freshman for the next week and a half, so deal with it), and I really need to use the bathroom but, hey, no water. I had the foresight in my drunken state last night to fill my coffee pot so I would have coffee, but hang-over plus coffee plus no other water to drink or brush teeth with equals yuck-o.

2) I share a thin wall with a sad excuse for a pizza parlor. They make a lot of noise, and most of the sounds I don’t equate with pizza making. I mean, what machine does one use to make bad pizza that vibrates so violently that I feel it through the floor all the way to my kitchen? They are in full operation today, shouting at each other in not-French-or-Italian (what are they speaking?), and there is NO WATER. Gross, people, gross.

3) I have an ambitious list of Things I Must Accomplish Today that will most likely not be accomplished today because although unidentifiable ethnic groups can run pizza parlors without water, I am incapable of even going to the convenience store next door without brushing my teeth.

4) I applied for a long-term subbing position at a bilingual school in my neighborhood about a month ago, during a desperate attempt to get out of my stage and yet remain in Paris. They were uninterested in me, mostly because I technically don’t have work papers. They called me an hour ago, needing an emergency sub for two weeks. I said no because a) I don’t have a full two weeks left here and b) don’t suggest that I be around children when I am hung-over and un-bathed.

5) I saw Shortbus this weekend. P.S. It was a great movie story-wise, once you get over the fact that you are essentially watching a porno, sitting remarkably close to a strange French man who is wearing copious amounts of generic cologne. But here’s the real question: does Shortbus exist? If so, where and when can we go?