It’s the panic point: my cuisine final is one week from yesterday and my pastry final is one week from tomorrow. How did it come to this? How am I going to pull this off?

I have finalized my cuisine menu, and I am sticking to it. For two weeks, I have been reworking and “re-finalizing” my menu about 25 times a day. What if I fry the celery root? How about escallops of veal? Do I use the green beans or not? Sheesh. What I have decided upon is neither ground breaking or particularly creative, but I know I can execute it perfectly. I have been long out of the running for top 5, and right now all I need to do is pass. Terrible attitude, but I’ve got a passing dish. These judges are old, fat French men: they want something they know and something that is done right. I think it’s also important for the old goats that it is all soft and easy to chew (no joke here, I’ve seen these dudes and they are OLD). I’m not risking anything by making three sauces or by doing puff pastry. The kitchens at Cordon Bleu are way too unpredictable for that. Long live boring and unmemorable, but passable.

Sugar. How am I ever going to construct a sculpture in sugar? Currently, I am clocked in at twelve hours with my hands in the sugar. I will put in another twelve before the exam. It’s so fragile and I am a total bull in a china shop. When we were doing the blown sugar, the chef was like, “Where are your pieces?” And I was like, “There,” pointing to the shards of shattered sugar in my poubelle bowl. It’s okay: I’ve got poured sugar and the staining process (see photo) down. We’ll see how the practice test goes. Double sheesh.