A guy, two single gals, and many mango mojitos goes something like this:

Girl A: I think I need to buy some condoms.

Girl B: Really? It seems a little early in the evening.

Girl A: No, just to have in case. You know, if ever.

Girl B: You are aware that here you need to go to the pharmacy and ask for them and then be subjected to the judgment of the 90 year-old frog behind the counter.

Girl A: So?

Girl B: I’d rather die. Condoms are the boy’s job.

Girl A: [Boy], what brand do you recommend?

Boy: Huh?

Girl B: Brand doesn’t matter. In my limited experience, there’s not one that you pull out and the guy is like, 'Awesome! I can’t wait to put that on!'

Girl A (to boy): Seriously, what do you recommend?

Boy: Huh?

Girl B: She wants a condom that says, 'I am an intelligent, independent woman who wants to please you, but mostly just myself.'

Boy: She wants talking condoms? That’s awesome! Can you imagine ripping it open and hearing, (affects British accent) ‘Good Morning!’

Girl B (giggling, affects same accent): ‘Pardon me you two, it seems I have suffered a small tear.’

Girl A: Sigh